Dear Desi,
Happy four and a half! I'll be first to admit this letter is late. This is the first time in six years that I haven't had to write a letter at least every other year, and I'm afraid the discipline has slipped (although, I've been late before too, I must admit) but I owe it to you, to myself and to Ramon to keep up this writing about your early childhood because Lia loves reading about herself so much, I know you guys would want to be able to read about yourselves too when you learn how.
You are growing up to be a darling darling little girl. These past few months have shown us more of who you are as you have become very outspoken and expressive about yourself, what you like, don't like and how you feel. Everyday we have few short hours together, just you and I, when after lunch, Ramon takes a nap, and Ate Lia is not yet home from school. Many days it is spent in companionable silence, as I read and you watch TV or play computer (have I told you you know play computer all on your own?). But more often than not, you tell me about what you had done in school, ask me to play games with you, or just generally make me kulit. It seems it doesn't matter what you're saying, as long as you're talking, and I am listening. Like this morning, you wouldn't let me read because you wanted me to look at the "city" you had built. You placed all sorts of books, cups, buckets, and toys on the floor to represent many different places (our house, your school, assumption, katipunan, etc) with no regard to distances or size proportion. When you tired of this game, you wanted to watch TV and I said you had to pack away everything first. You didn't want to do it all on your own, but you did, and felt very proud of yourself after. You should be proud, because you are getting to be a big girl, who can do things all on her own.
You are still a very funny girl, with an awesome sense of humor. These photos I found in my phone when you were playing with my front-facing camera while I wasn't looking. Silly Desi, you love making other people laugh. You can really be quite kengkoy, as shown in the photos above, even when you're only entertaining yourself and no one else. But you can also be quite sensitive. In the past months, there were instances at home when you were playing happily with your siblings when suddenly you turn quite sad, you would even cry and no one could tell why. So I would let you have time on your own to finish crying, and when you are ready to talk, you tell me about something that had happened in school, whether a classmate had grabbed a toy, or chosen a different friend over you. You also miss your best friend Cassie, because she is very sick and hasn't been to school in over a month. When I figured out that this was a reason for your melancholy, I asked Cassie's mommy if we could call up Cassie on the phone (she's not healthy enough to be visited yet) and you had a chat with her and you felt better. I bet you made Cassie feel better too.
I guess this is your sensitive side, the part of you that insists, not only on a kiss goodbye but also a cuddle (hug) everyday when you leave for school, and everytime I have to leave you at home. Whereas your sister and brother just briefly peck my cheek without even glancing away from their book or iPad, you always kiss me soundly and insist on a hug with matching exclamation of "Where are you going? I'll miss you!" even if you know I'll just be out for a few minutes to pick up meat from the neighborhood store. You are very very adorable and sweet. And your Daddy loves to call you his baby because you're still so malambing. This morning he said, you let Ramon play with the iPad, but only if Daddy carries you around, which of course he happily did, because he got to call you his baby and you only protested a little. But didn't let him put you down.
Which isn't to say you're not growing up. You are, and you are quite excited to. You've been learning many new things this past 6 months, like ballet and swimming. In swimming, by the end of 10 lessons, you could swim a couple of strokes without floaters (although since then, you would still insist of floaters which is ok I guess, because that means you are careful), and in ballet you were moved up from the Nursery class last summer to Preschool level during the school year. And as far as I can tell, you are the smallest in your class, but you are better than many of them. Yaya Mely tells me that the other yayas who watch their charges at ballet school love watching you dance because bigger girls could have difficulty in skipping across the room and it takes them forever to do it right, while you just go right ahead and finish in a couple of seconds. With a smile pa and extra flair. I'm so glad you enjoy ballet, Desi. I hope you continue dancing because it's good for you and it makes you happy.
Also last August, you took the entrance test to big school. You are very very excited to join Ate Lia that the week before your exam, you said your praying aloud in St. Ignatius saying, "Dear Jesus, thank you that I'm going to (big school)!" The whole family thought you had already been accepted, when actually we were only going there to take the test, but afterwards, on our way to the car, you said to me, "Mommy, when am I going to take the test?" And I said, Desi, you just finished. And you said "Oh." I guess that means you thought it was easy? Since you didn't even realize it was a test? But I'm sure you charmed your way right through it, bright as you are. They'd be lucky to have a student as good and smart as you. And if they don't take you, then it's not a bad thing to stay another year in small school close by and not grow up quite so fast as you are.
I love love love you, my Darling Desi. I love talking to you and listening to you, and hearing your ideas and being hugged and tackled by you. I love how you handle being little sister to Ate and big sister to Ramon. You are a smart girl, pretty and sweet and I know I can't preserve you in this beautiful littleness and be my baby girl forever, but that's ok because I'm looking forward to the kind of woman you will become. Daddy says you will be a chick, and you will keep the boys guessing with mixed signals and charming manipulation (your girly wiles sure work on him) but I maintain you will be sensible and smart about your decisions, even though you will be emotional and slightly prone to drama. Nevertheless, we look forward to the future, just as we cherish all that you are in this moment in time.
I love you forever, my darling four-and-a-half,
Mommy
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