Poop till you pop

Yesterday was THAT kind of day. Not the dede forever day, but more like a poopfest day. Let me illustrate.

Desi cries and I check her lampin. She pooped. So I put her on the changing table, open the diaper, wipe her down clean and then dry her butt. Throw the soiled diaper in the diaper pail, and substitute a clean diaper in its place. I put a bit of diaper rash cream on my finger and just as I'm about to wipe it on her butt, she poops again. Just a little. Just enough so you can't in your right mind still use it on a newly cleaned bum.

So, at first, I try to change her with a pea of cream on my pointer but it's too difficult, so I wipe it off and get to business. This time, I'm actually able to wipe some rash cream on one butt cheek when she poops again. Again, just a little bit.

Sigh. That's three soiled diapers in 5 minutes. I get at it again, and this time she pees at the new diaper. So I stop and think, maybe I should just wait and she can get on with her installment deposits. Maybe she's deliberately trying my patience and finds this extremely funny. But I can't because she's crying the entire time! And not just the uha! uha! of a teeny little baby cry, no, it was a WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like someone's sawing off her foot. If I'm not having fun, she's definitely not having fun either.

I changed her again and again and I think we soiled a total of 6 or 7 diapers without even getting off the changing table. And each diaper had just a teeny little bit of poop on it. Finally, I had one last clean lampin in my stash, and zero baby wipes left, I was able to successfully complete a diaper change. I rub my hands with alcohol and lift the screaming baby in my arms, hug her and she settles down with a look on her face like, what took you so long? Right. Like I was the one doing all the soiling.

So I get in bed, place her on my tummy, with her back supported by my thighs and her feet on my chest and we're facing each other. I was reading a book and she was staring off into space, no doubt planning her next mischief, when Mike called to ask how we were. And I told him of the never ending little by little pooping Desi had done. And he laughed, cause anything to do with poop or farting is funny to him. Also, he probably laughed in sweet revenge because Desi does something similar to him at like, 4 in the morning but with disposables. And I said to him, I wish I could tell Desi to please just have everything done all in one go. Just poop one big poop, instead of many little poops kasi sayang all the diapers, and baby wipes, and diaper rash cream, and lap pads and water and detergent for washing, and tears and time, if she could just release it all, one time big time, we could save the planet. And Mike probably agreed or something, and we said good bye.

And I swear it was as if on cue, I heard a big SPLWERCH from my abdomen area. And Desi looked at me like, What? I'm just sitting here. And then, PROOT. And Desi looks away like, nuninu... And another slightly softer PRUT. And then she goes red like she's about to cry, so I bring her back to the changing table and lo and behold, a HUGE batch of poop that almost flowed out of the diaper. THANK GOD for waterproof lap pads. I cleaned her up, this time with cotton and water cause no more wipes, and got her into the very last clean lampin without incident and then we settled down to nurse.

Goes to show, you never know what you're going to get if you just ask. And after all that, those big, wide, innocent eyes were just sooo adorable, I just wanted to eat her up! I would start with her head and have her feet for desert. Sooo cute. I've already forgotten how stressful the ordeal she put me through was. :-) I love my Desi.