Desi

Meet my newest daughter



Lourdes Lapid Juan, my beautiful little strawberry. Isn't she the most adorable thing on the planet?

I had no idea... To be honest, I thought having Desi would pale in comparison to the experience of having Lia. Like my pregnancy with Lia was such a big deal, so many feelings involved, so much obsessing into everything. With Desi, it was easy to forget I was pregnant. I hardly thought about it, except when I was so gigantic it was hard not to feel completely and utterly pregnant. But even then, I would think of the pregnancy and not the child inside me. And then she was born, and I met her, and I fell in love just as hard and fast as with Lia. Maybe more. Maybe harder. She's just so beautiful and tiny and sweet and soft, and my insides melt each time I look at her face. So, this is what it's really like. They say a mother loves all her children, each one with all her heart, like you can give your whole heart to several people. It was all just a concept to me, which I believed but didn't really grasp until now. That you fall in love each time you bring a new life into the world. And it doesn't diminish the love you feel for your first child. Somehow, it multiplies the love even greater.

I didn't write a birth story for Lia when she was born. I guess tinamad na ako since I was only able to blog over a week after I gave birth, and by then, I was more interested in writing about poop and the actual newness of the experience of motherhood rather than the pain pain pain and suffering of labor. Which was mostly what Lia's birth story was all about anyway. Lots of pain. Lots and lots and LOTS, and then the heavenly epidural, and then passing out, and then getting cut up and then "here's your baby!" Oh and then fever and panic and drama and pain and bleeding. If I wrote out the details, it's not a nice story, and I doubt anyone would be interested so I never got around to it. Long and short of it is, because I went through an entire day of labor, and then delivered by Cesarean section, I was told by my doctor I'd have to do CS again forever each time I have a child. I considered fighting it, and finding a doctor who would allow me to have a natural birth, but after much thought up until the end, I resigned to the boring, completely undramatic giving birth by schedule.

[Which, although gives us a very boring birth story, had a lot of advantages, like Mike was able to schedule his meetings around my birth, and I was able to wait until the last possible minute to have my hair cut and straightened and my underarms waxed (I spent the entire day at the salon, the day before giving birth. And then Mike and I had dinner out. I recommend it to everyone).]

But now I will write Desi's birth story because, well, because my Mom is abroad and I know she'd like to know every single detail. Hi Mom! She was here the first time so no need to write it down for her then. Also, because it's short and boring, so I think I can finish before the little one wakes up and demands to be fed again.

So, let's see, how did the birth story go?

March 28, 2008
6AM, wheeled into hospital, brought to what was technically the recovery room. They didn't put me with the other moms in labor, they put me in with the ones who were resting from already giving birth. They prepped me for surgery and asked me my name and medical history A HUNDRED BAJILLION TIMES. I swear, if I had known their system was as sucky as that, I would have prepared a signboard that contained all the pertinent info so that all those countless nurses and interns could just refer to the FAQ. Seriously.

7-9:30 mostly reading the novel Michelle lent me. [Hey Michelle, loved the Queens Fool! Boring lang when she wasn't at court anymore. I think I'll go hunt for her other novels now. hahaha!] Read read read. Tell them my name AGAIN, age, blah blah blah.. Listen to this one mom in the recovery room complain about every single thing, blab on her celphone, and be generally noisy while the rest of the moms quietly recover from their ordeals. The nerve of some people, really. To think you're not allowed to bring in your celphone to the recovery room with you.

Quarter to 10, wheeled into the Delivery Room. Dr. Suey, my OB was there, but we waited a bit more for the other doctors who were supposed to help. While waiting I watched the machine that measured my heart beat and breathing and kept holding my breath as long as I can to see what kind of lines I could make on the machine. See how insanely boring giving birth is without the pain? It's the pain that makes it exciting. That's why no one EVER gives birth by scheduled CS in movies and TV shows. Even if all the hollywood actors and actresses do.

Anyway, around 10, the anaesthesiologist arrives and they poke my spine with a needle. After that everything gets groggy. But I do remember this:

At one point, I open my eyes and there's a sheet of blue cloth an inch from my nose and I asked, "Is the baby out yet?" and I hear Dr. Suey say, no not yet. And the anaesthesiologist (who is a little old lola-ish lady) say, matulog ka na lang, ija. And I say, "But I want to watch." But no one minds me.

And then i sort of feel (even if I had no sensation from my neck down) them massage, like, push my tummy from right below my boobs, going down, and I asked again, "is the baby out?" And Dr. Suey said, "Malapit na," and she said something to the other doctors I can't remember and then I hear a loud screaming wail! It was amazing! And then I guess they dry her, or cut her cord and soon she's to my left and they show me my baby, and she was screaming bloody hell at the indignity of exposure to air. And I say,

"Why are her feet blue?"

And the nurse holding her said, "Um, lahat po ng sheets dito sa Makati Med blue."

And I wanted to punch her in the face, but I couldn't because when I tried, I learned I was strapped to the bed pala. So instead I said, "No, why are her feet blue?" And she mutters something about foot print stamp or whatever. So it must have been ink.

Anyway, naawa na ako kay Desi, so I said "Sweetheart, why are you crying? I'm here!" And I swear to God, when she heard my voice, she stopped wailing and kept still. And when I stopped talking, she screamed and cried again. The nurses were surprised and at that point they took her away.

After that I succumbed to the grogginess and woke up back at the recovery room where the woman with the celphone was still at it, but they finally got a room and left before I did and left and it was finally peaceful and quiet. And that's that. The actual birthing couldn't have taken more than 30 minutes. They allowed Mike to peek at me once before he had to go run up and down to secure a room for us. He ran up and down a lot of stairs while we were in the hospital because their elevators suck.

I was able to breastfeed once at the recovery room. They wheeled Desi in and she latched on immediately. And she had this tiny little whimper like a kitten's soft meow. I think when I heard that was when I really fell in love with her. After feeding, they took her back to the nursery. At 4PM, we were at the room and Desi came to be with us for good, and we've been inseparable since. She is a darling darling little angel.

Right now, we're home. Missing out on a lot of parties and shopping because Mike's aunts and cousins from the States are here and everyone has been all over the place, from Puerto Galera to Subic, to 168 to Tiendesitas. And I really wish I could bond with them, but I also love being home alone with my daughters so I don't really feel that bad about it. I'm recovering much faster than with Lia. The last time I couldn't get myself to go up the stairs and we camped out in the sala for a week. Now, I got so bored downstairs, I came up on the second day, even if I said, I wouldn't. Walking around going up and down, bathing, all much easier now  than before.

Breastfeeding, we had a hard time in the hospital. I guess Desi needed practice. Lia took to it, like a fish to water, and used to nurse for hours on end. But because I was recovering slowly, I couldn't nurse her lying on the bed. Desi, after a few false tries, is now an expert sucker as well, and better pa, she doesn't mind us nursing lying down, so I can sleep while nursing. Fun. And she only stays on for about 30 minutes at a time, which gives me time to blog. Luckily, she's been asleep now for over an hour. I think she might wake up soon because she generally likes to nurse every hour.

We're all ok, and Lia is Great. So far, no jealousy, no possessiveness over me, or her Daddy or her Lola Cora. She's very secure, thank God! But I'll write more about that next time.

Thanks to everyone who visited in the hospital: My parents-in-law, Shiva and Cadoosh, Norman and Simon, Ate Alma, Nana and Nanu, Angie and Jan, Tita Menchi,  Ia and Ayo and Newly Atty. Bobbie. Here at home: Mike's staff, Jerry, Boyet, Jay and Lea, and his aunts and cousins. Everyone who texted and left congratulations messages. We feel very very blessed indeed.