Month 11

Dear Lia,

Happy 11 months! You're going to be a year old in a
month and I Just Can't Be Lieve It. Just last night, as you were
sleeping in the bed between your Daddy and me, we were watching your
face and I remember thinking, how is it possible to fall in love with a
little human being again and again and again, even if she keeps me up
all night, even if she pees at me, and makes my arms ache because of
how heavy she is, and demands all my care and attention all day every
day for the last 11 months? How? I don't know, but it's the truth.
Every time you smile at me, I am in love with you again just like when
you were newly born.



Speaking
of smiles, last Christmas, your Daddy got me a new camera because the
old one conked out. And we got this new one for a very special feature:
it is Lia Proof. It can take crisp, clear photos of fast moving
objects. Like you. Because most of your photos from your 9th and 10th
month were fuzzy blurs. I was ready to take photos of you with such
confidence. And just as we got the new camera, you learned a new trick,
completely on your own. You now sit still and smile at the camera.
Every time I bring it out, whenever you see me point this thing at you,
even when it isn't on, you stop what you're doing, look at the camera
and give me one of those winning crinkly-nosed smiles. The same
crinkly-nosed pa-cute smile you give to waitresses and hotel staff in
Cebu, random strangers in the park, and your adoring relatives at
weekly reunions. You have learned to work a crowd, even initiating the
applause I suppose you feel you deserve. It is the most adorable and
convenient trick for a camera-wielding mommy like me. I can tell we
will have to buy a new hard drive soon, just to store all your
beautiful new photos.



I'm
doubly glad you sit still for pictures now because you have become so
heart-breakingly mobile! Since your first steps a little over a month
ago, you mostly still crawled around, or walked while holding someone's
hands. But in the last two weeks, you went from two to three tentative
steps on your own to walking all over the place like it's no big deal!
When your daddy first saw you do it, I could see his heart jump to his
throat with a mixture of "Oh my God, my baby is so amazing!" and
"You're not supposed to be walking yet!" I know because I felt the
same, and a crazy welling up of emotion. You're growing up too fast! We
didn't expect you to walk until after you turned one! But here you are,
bravely taking quick and excited baby steps from the couch, to the
table to the crib to the kitchen, to the driveway, the sidewalk, the
neighbor's restaurant and everywhere I take you. You are so brave and
strong and smart! You not only know how to walk, you know how to fall,
always on your butt, and not on your hands. You are so unbelievably
amazing, I am practically drowning in pride!



You
sign clearly and consistently for milk now, which means you never cry
in hunger because you know how to ask for milk. Be it by signing with
your hands, or by pulling my blouse and looking inside. You also sign
Up! Up! Upstairs! When you want me to take you up to the room to sleep
for the night. And Down down downstairs! When you wake up in the
morning and want your Daddy to take you down to Yaya for your morning
walk. You have expanded your bag of tricks to include "Hello?" Where
you put your hand to your ear as if you were speaking on the telephone
and saying "O!" and "Where's your nose?" where you miss 80% of the
time. You seem to have forgotten what "Beautiful eyes" means, but your
baby babble is starting to sound like talking. When i say, "Say Mommy,"
You say "Mah!" When I say, "Say Papa," You say
"Yayayapapapayayapapapa..." Once, while you were eating, we asked you,
"Sarap?" You said "Yumyum!" When you walked past Tita Gigi, you said
"Tabitabitabi..." And once when you were playing with Buday, you said
"Bdabdabdabdabda..." It's especially endearing when we're settling down
for the night, right before going to sleep, you would lie beside me in
bed, and tell me bed time stories, babbling away as if we were holding
a real conversation. I imagine whatever you were saying had real
meaning to you and it goes straight to my heart.



You
are learning so many new things so fast, it seems you're in a hurry to
be a big girl. When you prefer to walk on your own than be held, never
mind if you fall, and when you insist in going your direction and not
to where I lead you, I can't help thinking, today you're walking,
tomorrow you're running, the next day you'll be driving and flying and
trying to get as far away from your parents as possible. But each
night, as you sleep between your Daddy and me, when you wake up crying
and seeking solace in suckling at my breast, you are small and
vulnerable and my darling, precious little baby. And I remember that
although you won't always be a baby, you can always come home and find
love in me.



Love, Mommy