Unfair Mommy

I've been a bit unfair to Lia. She's actually a very well behaved baby really. The other night seems more the exception than the rule now that we know not to change her immediately after hearing her prooot, knowing a second or third installment of poop might be forthcoming. And last night, she was nice enough to settle down after her 2:30AM feeding and let Mommy sleep all the way to sunrise. And then she slept again and didn't get up till like, 10AM. During which time Mommy slept too. So I got my sleep naman today. Slept all afternoon too. So now I'm awake. Ready if she wakes up.

We finally moved up to the bedroom. We're a bit crowded now, because of the crib. But we're seeing if this works, it's so much more private, especially at night. Kung mahirap, we'll move back downstairs.

I know the world is a bit tumultuous now. Mike just got back from Zamboanga this afternoon (he left yesterday morning) and brought home some "chismis" (gossip) on the coup attempts and this whole national emergency thing. Personally I feel too detached and tired to go through the effort of forming an opinion on these things. I feel completely unaffected by all this, I'm at home, taking care of my baby, no one called off my classes, or dispersed me or anything. What's more, I feel like I've outgrown rallies, having joined several in college, and a few even before that. We used to go to rallies as a family. Now, none of us can be bothered. I think it's because it all feels a bit contrived. There's someone manipulating all the crap they're pulling against the president, and it's not clear who it is. I never liked GMA, I didn't vote for her, but, in Mike's words, "the devil you know is better than the devil you don't." None of the alternatives are acceptable. So I'll choose to be apathetic. At least for now.

What a shame. I was a martial law baby. My parents were somewhat politically active during the Marcos era. They have consciously imbibed a love of country in me and my siblings, which is why for me, leaving is not an option, and working in development is what I want to do with my life. But this, this political warfare/circus is just too distasteful. Disappointing. Disgusting.

I wonder if we're at a verge of great political change. And when my baby grows up, she'll ask me what I did during the time, what will I say? I'll say, "Sweetheart, you were a week old and all I did was feed you and wipe your butt. It was simply more important than taking to the streets."